Life is crazy and I have found myself walking a balance beam of sorts, trying to balance who I was, and who I am becoming while keeping things as normal as possible for my family.
I watched the Biggest Loser for several years and always thought the “breakdowns” with various participants was just a big act. Now I am discovering (while breakdowns on the tele are rather dramatized) that breaking down while losing weight happens.
Things are not bad, not at all. In fact, I have reached a HUGE milestone as I have now lost FIFTY pounds since May! I have gone from a size 24 to a 16 using nothing but nutrition and exercise. That is a huge deal! But in the middle of celebrating this milestone I am also discovering emotions of embarrassment, fear, frustration and excitement. I did not realize what a homebody I had become, nor how bad I felt. My days had become staying in and basically sleeping my days away. I actually cancelled attending a formal Christmas party this past year because I didn’t want to shop for a dress for my overweight body!
{My self-esteem was down to nothing!}
The stresses of the last two weeks have really been a turning point. School has started (along with swim season), Audley’s grandmother is fading away & he has been on the road working for the last four weeks, and I lost my cousin unexpectedly, but I’m not running to the refrigerator and retreating to bed for comfort.
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| First Day of School~ 2012 |
Instead, I have loaded the kids up for a day out, threw my emotions into cleaning, bailed to the gym, worked in the yard, finished my summer canning, and become one crazy swim mom!
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| Bradley’s first swim meet ~ I make Michael Phelps mom look calm! |
It’s a whole new me!
And I think I like this new me, because I know that I didn’t like the old one. The new me has a life to live!
So where do I go from here? I still spend a lot of time in my kitchen, but it’s spent preparing healthy fare for my family. I don’t dwell on it any more. I’ve quit subscribing to food based magazines and websites. I am dabbling in a little more DIY, landscaping and finally setting out to decorate our new home.
I’m changing.
Blogging has been a wonderful outlet for me, so I want to continue. It’s going to change though. Not so much food, more travel, adventure and fun; more DIY, entertaining, and gardening!
I also want to make a difference. I want people who are going through the nightmare of being overweight to know there is a life worth living out there and I want to encourage everyone to just live!
Please, tell me. What do YOU want?!?
What do you want to see posts about, and what do you want for yourself? I want to know you!
**And for all of the messages, email and love you have shared during our loss the last week I cannot begin to say thank you enough. You have touched my heart deeply.
Seasons at Rosebriar 
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